Are you back on the singles scene after a long term relationship.

Herewith some hits and tips to get you started:

The first date:

Example 1 : The first date Shelly went on was with a good looking, well-spoken man, who collected me her for lunch at her residence in his dilapidated bakkie (mistake ladies, never allow the men to know where you live and always meet them at a venue that you know in your own vehicle). After being married for so long – it actually did not occur to her that it may be unwise or unsafe to hop into a man’s vehicle – despite what our parents always taught us ! Never hop into a vehicle with strangers, and darlings, you better adhere to it.

Tip 1:

Always go in your own vehicle, it’s safer and your new date will not have to contend with the possibility of bumping into any enraged exes at your front door/gate.
Meet your date at a venue of your choice - preferably where you are known so that if there is a problem, you can request assistance from the staff.

A long line of dates:

Do not be deterred from dating it is necessary to embarked on a series of meeting people for breakfasts, lunches and teas but its best to leave evening cocktails and dinners out of the equation. Many men seemed to lose their inhibitions in the evening and tended to think that a dinner date and ‘walk you to your car’ also came with the added value of “mauling”.

Darlings persevere. You may need to kiss a few frogs before you find the perfect prince to play in your pond.

Tip 2:

Meet the men for breakfast, lunch or tea, but keep the dinners for the men that you would like to consider taking things a bit further with.
Do not go to isolated places or parks for picnics unless you feel certain that you have a safe date and that you are physically strong enough to either run or overpower your date on your own if things get out of hand.
If you have an interesting or unusual career that can somehow be construed as being sensual or sexual, keep your career choice to yourself for a while.

FINDING YOUR POTENTIAL PARTNER

I get people asking me all the time, where do you find good men. Yes there are online dating agencies and dating clubs that you can use but I have found that if you just make the effort when you get up in the morning to dress well, maintain yourself and smile, you often find that your potential partners will be attracted to you. Friends introducing you to their friends (although sometimes tedious and embarrassing) can often result in new friendships being formed and although this person may not be the right person – he may have a friend that’s mighty fine.

FAILURE TO LAUNCH

When you do eventually find a potential partner that I you think may be perfect for me – its quite natural to feel a certain degree of anxiety and panic.

Tip 3:

Take it easy. If you are with a man who is in love with you he will give you the breathing space you need to settle into a physical relationship with him.

THE ROAD TO COMMITMENT:

It is vital to give your partner breathing space. Allow him to take his time, wine, dine and romance you – and give him breathing space to still enjoy aspects of his single kingdom. If he is the right one for you, he will invite you into his kingdom or alternatively want to spend more time in your palace of pleasure.

But give yourselves time to get to know each other with a relaxed, pleasurable and pleasant journey.

To all the great guys and women out there – may you learn from your mistakes no doubt you’ll, have a few good laughs and cries along the way. Have the courage and confidence to carry on until you find the perfect partner for you and until then, enjoy your singledom of sleeping in late, eating when you feel like it and not being answerable to anyone!